Alcohol Tales · Anecdote

What I Miss About Uni – Daytime Drinking

  Some of my most cherished memories from the 3 years I spent at University include daytime drinking – Something which becomes absolutely acceptable in a setting full of students under the pressure of deadlines. The Portsmouth Students Union embraced the notion of ‘study breaks’ which turned into full on drinking sessions, spurred on by cheap drinks deals and sports teams that retreated like animals to the watering hole after training practice.

  One particular day I, together with my friends Becky and Poppy, decided that daytime drinking would be taken to an extreme level. We had gotten the train to Uni (we all commuted) and arrived in Portsmouth at 9.30 a.m for a short seminar, our only commitment of the day. We joked about buying a bottle of vodka and spiking our own Fantas with it to drink through the seminar, you know, to get our ‘creative juices’ flowing. The lighthearted concept resulted in us standing in the Co-op buying a small bottle of cheapest own-brand vodka, convincing each other that it was fine, absolutely fine, to actually consider drinking spirits at 10 in the morning.

  Half an hour later we were sat in the seminar sipping a choking concoction of one part vodka to two parts Fanta. It’s safe to say that after a while we became extremely enthusiastic in class discussions and when it came to each writing a short piece at the end of the class I felt positively bursting with ideas. The task was to put a modern twist on a classic fairy tale and I thought my idea was genius until the lecturer called upon me to read out my example…And so I began the tale of Cinderella. A promiscuous, alcoholic Cinderella who snapped the heel of her Louboutin while dashing home from a one night stand with a charming builder from Essex. I would have probably been able to pull the story off had my writing not been borderline illegible, forcing me to read it out in staccato sentences which probably had my peers questioning why I was on a Creative Writing course when I could barely even read.

  Successful seminar over we trotted merrily to the Union and ordered the obligatory Snakebites –  A mix of beer, cider and Ribena which none of us really enjoyed despite the fact that we gulped down pints of it. Though the daytime drinking sessions seem to have all blurred into one since leaving Uni, I’m 99% sure that this particular day resulted in an abundance of tacky toilet selfies. You know the ones – Three girls crouching down awkwardly in front of a toilet mirror so as to all fit in the shot, the occasional peace sign here, the occasional pout there….The occasional girl sprawled seductively across a sink while toilet-goers waiting to wash their hands crowd impatiently behind the photographer.

  If daytime drinking didn’t turn into a full on night out (which it often did), it would result in the surreal experience of finding our way home drunk. The most exciting part of being drunk during daylight hours when the majority of people around you are sober is that, for some reason, you are able to convince yourself that they too are seeing the world in the inebriated, inhibition-less way that you are in that moment. Innocent people going about their day will become targets to start a conversation with, convinced that they find the discussion about the Domino’s pizza you’re going to order as titillating as you do. Good intentions such as offering a Businessman on the train home one of your cheesy chips are rewarded with an empty carriage as all other passengers seek to avoid the over-excited drunk girls shoveling Mayo-drenched fries into their mouths like savages. On a night out it’s to be expected that most of the people around you will have probably had a few drinks and as a result be more open to advancing strangers. When drinking in the daytime, however, it becomes stunningly apparent that the human race as a whole are relatively unapproachable and socially awkward. Or perhaps they just do not wish to become involved with the ramblings of a tipsy student, directionless other than a heavy focus upon where her next hit of Carbs is coming from.

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