Girl Talk · Lists

Shameless Beauty Truths

I am currently stressing over my 22nd birthday, which falls upon next weekend. The panic over finding a suitable outfit and the long list of other necessary preparations has caused me to consider the implications behind what we consider ‘beauty.’ When a girl goes on a big night out she often looks meticulously groomed and polished in every way. There has been painstaking attention to detail and everything has been considered – From her hair to her nails, it is clear from an external viewpoint that effort had been made. But what is often overlooked is the process behind all this. The things we don’t really talk about. Here are some shameless beauty truths…

1. We smell vile when we fake tan – Any girl who has slathered herself in fake tan, slept in it whilst it develops and woken up the next morning knows this. A lot of people say the scent resembles stale biscuits but I think the reality is much worse. I think the smell is more like stale biscuits crumbled on top of a curry which has been left to ferment in a bin for several days. All fake tan companies market their product with promises of sweet aromas or ‘odor free’ formulas. While some smell quite pleasant throughout the application process, it never lasts. By the morning we smell absolutely vile. It’s all worth it once the guide color is washed off and we’re left radiant and glowing, though even after a shower that subtle hint of biscuit-curry can sometimes be detected…

2. We won’t shave out legs unless absolutely necessary – Winter is a haven for girls because we can stop religiously preparing our legs for shorts and skirts. Single girls especially can defiantly chuck every Gillette blade in sight in the bin, rebelling against shaving for at least 4 months whilst protected by the safety of jeans and leggings and tights. Exceptions will be made only if we happen to be wearing an outfit which bares our legs a lot or if we think we may be in the company of a male (who may feel emasculated due to his lack of leg hair in comparison to ours).

3. Push up bras – Every girl has that one bra which just does something magical. Whether it’s elevating her two cup sizes or immensely enhancing the cleavage this special bra is cherished and, on special occasions, we will bust (he he) it out. Said bra can lead to questions of surgery or pregnancy and is usually reserved for birthdays, new years or other such events. We kind of feel guilty for implementing such trickery but, to tell the truth, sometimes we just want bigger boobs.

4. Magnifying Mirrors – A lot of us own these devices which we have a love/hate relationship with. Magnifying mirrors (Some magnify as far as 14X) are great for using to pluck every stray hair which ever dared to grow outside of our ideal brow shape. They are also the prime tool for in-depth scrutiny of every pore/blemish/imperfection on our face. It’s quite fascinating to see your skin so close up and a brow plucking session often turns into us just sitting there inspecting our faces for a while. It may sound vain but it’s quite intriguing/worrying to find little hairs growing in places you never knew hair could grow. These mirrors aren’t the sort we gaze into whilst declaring ourselves the fairest of them all…They’re the sort which make us rush out to buy a new face mask. They aren’t the kindest but we just can’t keep away from them.

5. Fad Products – We own obscene amounts of products. I have a whole shelf full of hair products, for example, despite the fact that I only stick to my 4 favorites. This happens because we like to collect things which promise us great hair/skin whenever we’re feeling a bit low. In boots and you’re hairs feeling a bit flat? Oh, there just so happens to be a 3 for 2 offer on hair and beauty. Cue 3 volumizing products desperately shoved in the basket. Pass by a mirror in Superdrug and notice you have a spot brewing on your chin? A cleanser, toner and mask from the Simple skincare section will sort that right out. We’re impulse buyers and often fall in love with new products, but just as often we’ll decide we prefer our old favorite. So this is why our rooms sometimes feel like stepping into the beauty section of a department store. And why not throw the ones we don’t use away, you ask? Because they were expensive. And the bottles look pretty.

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